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I love summer.  I am resting.  I am checking things off my list of projects.  I am catching up with friends.  So far, this summer has been a time to recharge and refocus my perspective.  It as amazing how rest, friends, family and warm weather can help bring me back to a full-of-faith state of being.  I am seeing God answer prayers in the lives of my friends and family…which, of course, adds to my faithful feeling.

Here are some of our adventures so far:

Lots of swimming!

Since discovering Facebook, I haven’t been blogging.  For shame, bad blogger.  Chastisement aside, I have much news. 

This spring I once again suffered through the torment of job insecurity.  As a result of staff cuts, I was let go from my job and in search of another teaching position.  Fortunately, I was able to land one in the nearby district of Mancos.  Mancos High School is a tiny school of about 100 students.  I will essentially be the English department and have my students for at least three of their four years in high school.  I am very excited to teach in this small, community school and the twenty minute (stunningly gorgeous and traffic free) commute seems trivial to an ex-Californian.  So, thank you to all who have been praying for our financial security…God has made a way.  I am taking quite a pay cut to teach in Mancos, but it seems we can still meet our financial responsibilities.  So, come fall, I am planning to be a Fighting Blue Jay.

The stress of having my job in jeopardy once again, definitely took it’s toll.  It is frustrating to be good at your job and have an arbitrary decision making process decide your fate.  My pride does not allow me to suffer very graciously under what seems to be foolishness.  Looking back, it was good for my pride to suffer and for my humility and contentment to mature, but it wasn’t a smooth process.  Contracting shingles in the midst of job interviews was a tangible reminder of my emotional upheaval.

Fortunately, this summer has begun! I am fully enjoying my stay-at-home mom life once again.  The house is clean, I have much time to spend with my kids, I get to see more of my friends and my husband - I love summer.  After a very difficult spring, this summer is all about rest and recovery.  We are staying close to home this summer to enjoy all that Colorado has to offer (not much of a sacrifice!) and I hope to read many good books.  Many people long for adventure during their summer break, and quite frankly, I’ve had all the excitement I can stand.  Hooray for a restful, relaxing, stay-at-home summer….and I promise to blog more often.

Last Monday, one of my students hanged himself.  Wednesday morning, before the first bell, one of my colleagues entered my classroom to share the horrific news.  Since then, we have been grieving as a group.

Teaching in my little school (three teachers, one counselor and thirty students) has been a unique experience - but the uniqueness has never felt as sharp as this last week.  We knew Alveino.  We knew him well.  We visited him and we called him.  We checked up on him.  He trusted us - and no one else.  Alveino was alone, save his school family.  We knew he was troubled.  But we couldn’t stop him.

It is a painful experience to care about someone, and yet not be able to control them.  Not be able to keep them safe.  Yet in the tragedy, remarkable things have happened.  I have seen a marginalized group of students pull together as a family and care for each other with fierce determination.  I have seen adults model grief for students in very real, authentic ways.  I have seen a group of adults pull together to support one another rather than give in to the temptation to remain “professional”.  The entire experience has been messy, but that is because we loved Alveino.  To tie up our emotional experience in a neat little package would devalue his life and his worth. 

Today, I sat in a group grief counseling session with my colleagues.  I was proud of their emotional honesty.  I have been encouraged to see us pull together, bound by our sadness.  Our students are fortunate to have such a diverse, caring group of teachers who are committed to them well beyond the classroom.  I only wish all high school students could have that same experience.

I am experiencing grief in a profound, daily way.  His seat is empty.  We feel his void every single day.  Alveino knew that I cared about him, and I am so glad that he heard me say it out loud.  I enjoyed so many things about him and will miss him deeply.

The past few months I haven’t been very committed to my blog.  I will attempt to do better and keep you readers (all five of you!) up to date.

Christmas was wonderful.  I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of my vacation with my family - we stayed at home and enjoyed Durango.  I must be growing up as it didn’t take me a whole week to calm down and begin the good stuff. 

The kids are back to school, and not too sad about it.  I didn’t not handle the transition back to work quite as gracefully.  I feel I am holding my breath until Spring trimester begins - five more weeks.  Oscar is still loving Aikido and is hoping to take his yellow belt test soon.  We parents think it will be a little while until he is ready and therefore a great opportunity to learn to work hard while you wait.  Piper is hoping to begin taking a performing arts class.  I am hoping we can get her in to the class and that it is not full…I’ll keep you posted.

Chip is snowshoeing, snowboarding, cooking, cleaning and running a church.  He does it all very well and I have to give him huge props for the way he has embraced all of his diverse rolls.  He likes the diversity in his schedule and really enjoys all that he is doing.  For example, his river rafting friends (they all guide for 4-corners Whitewater) are building a float for the Snowdown parade.  This year Snowdown has an Egyptian theme…and guess who they chose to be Pharoah?  Yup, Chip.  Imagine a very cold pharoah riding down Main St. in a yellow raft surrounded by crocodiles in the snow.  It should be entertaining!

I am very grateful for my job, and while I sometimes long for a more relaxed schdule, I think our household responsibilities are currently divided in the best possible way.  I am most effective in a structured, predictable setting (i.e. a public high school) and Chip is most effective in a flexible, ever changing lifestyle.  We are maximizing our talents for the greatest, best impact on our kids and the community at large.  It may seem a bit of a strange set up, but it works best for us.  I am doing very well at work, and Chip is doing very well at all his various work.  It makes me feel grateful that we attempted this strange experiment and satisfied that we are both experiencing enjoyment and success.

I suppose my New Year’s wish is that you, too, would go for it…if it isn’t working for you, try a new approach.  Leverage that gut feeling you’ve had for quite sometime and take action.  And do it now before another frustrating, unsatisfying year is used up.  

Wishing you the best!

The day after Thanksgiving we caroled down Main Street, following Santa to the tree lighting ceremony.  It is a great small town way to kick off the seasonal activities.  We are SO ready for Christmas.  Our trees are up and we are hoping to get tons of snow this week.  The kids and I are very excited to get a break from school.  We have plans to go sledding, swim at the Rec Center, bake, craft and spend time at the new library.  I miss spending daily time with my kids in a relaxed way.  I can’t wait to relax with them - that is some of our best bonding time.  We hope you are also enjoying the season…if not, come to Durango.  The Home and Garden channel just voted Durango the 7th best Christmas town in America.  It really is fun to wander up and down our wild west streets, window shopping with coffee in hand.   If I ever get up the guts, we’ll stage a wild west family Christmas picture and you can share in our small townishness.  For now, the standard cute kid picture will have to do.  Merry Christmas!

The Durango Cheerleaders have qualified for USA Nationals in Anaheim, CA.  Their first competition ever, after traveling on the short bus for 10 hours, they accomplished their goal.  For a small town, this is a very big deal.  The DHS cheerleaders have never had the skills to compete at a superior level, nor had they ever attended a competition.   It has been such great fun to escort them to this new level - teaching them to stunt and cheer, finding them a wonderful choreographer (thanks Marlon), outfitting them in gorgeous uniforms and teaching them how to handle competition emotionally and mentally.  They are finally understanding that they are pretty good.  We have a ton to do before we leave for Nationals at the end of March, but qualifying early is a great stress reliever.  Way to go girls.  Yes, you can hang a banner in the gym - CHEERLEADING, Nationals 08-09.  Now, if we place top three, we’ll have more to put on that banner

I have been smiling all day.  Some of it has to do with the fact that we woke up to snow this morning - the first snow of the season.  Most of it has to do with the enormous historical significance of yesterday’s election.  I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with the bigness of the event - of what it means to so many people here in America and around the world.  While I am often proud of individual Americans, I am seldom proud of how Americans behave as a country.  I don’t have any deep, profound insights into political shenanigans and really dislike the whole philosophy behind politicking.  I am, however, for this moment, proud of my country.  I am proud that young people voted.  I am proud that the disenfranchised felt their vote would matter - that they wanted to affect something bigger than themselves.  I am proud of people who decided they were not afraid of the color of someone’s skin.  I am proud to demonstrate the hope we so often preach from our privileged American bubble.  Yes. 

Well, we learned an important lesson.  Never take family pictures in direct Colorado, mid-day sunlight.  Overhead sun is very unforgiving and harsh.  Oh well.  The pictures are fine…and we truly are grateful for every year.

There are times when, as mothers, we do things by instinct.  I am surprised at how many times the mother instinct is spot on.  I am not a very reflective person and rely on my “gut” to help me make important decisions - including parenting decisions.  I have always valued the special things my mom did for me…she was always willing to go the extra mile to make a milestone moment really special.  I remember when she sneaked a camera into the dressing room of a fancy department store in San Fransisco to take a picture of the designer prom dress I wanted, but couldn’t afford.  I was SO nervous and sure we would get thrown out of the store, but mom enjoyed the entire conspiracy and I knew I was safe with her.  The next week, she took me to a dressmaker and had her copy the dress.  I even got to add some of my own special touches.  I loved that dress.  And I loved the extra effort my mom took to make my junior prom special. 

I like to bake cakes, and have made some pretty cool looking ones for my kids.  I usually make creative cakes because it’s enjoyable and my friends ooo and ahhh over my creations.  There is the hope that someday, when they are grown, my children will appreciated the extra special cakes their mom made for them…so I take lots of pictures and hope for the best.  This year, for Oscar’s birthday, I made him an R2D2 cake.  He isn’t having a big party this year, and I wanted him to be able to take the cake to school to celebrate with his friends.  It seems I underestimated the impact a special cake can have on a first grade classroom.  My reserved son beamed with pride as Chip walked the cake into the classroom.  His classmates were thrilled and Oscar was invited to talk about the cake to the rest of the class (what could he possibly have said!?).  It made more of an impact than I had anticipated - and I am so glad I didn’t just buy cupcakes at the store.  Sometimes we guess at what will be special to our kids, at what they might remember fondly or at what will make them feel loved and important.  This time, I guessed right. 

The kids are really enjoying school.  I am really enjoying my teaching schedule.  Chip is enjoying substitute teaching (can’t you just picture it!). And the leaves are just beginning to change colors.  What could be better?  The days are warm, the nights are cool.  The sun is shining and the days are still long enough to play outside after dinner.  We are finding fun things to do each weekend and we continue to make good friends here.  Last weekend, we traveled to nearby Silverton to check out the museum and eat at a kooky place called Handlebar’s (as in mustache).

We hope you are adjusting to your new school schedules and enjoying the changing season.